Beautifull Disaster

I sit here, trying to update what I'd like to believe they are informed critiques. This year has been very interesting for me and I suppose it was just one of those learning curves. This post is inspired by a song by Kelly Clarkson called a Beautiful Disaster, such a sad song that whenever I listen to it, I am reminded of how unpredictable life is and just when you start thinking that you have everything figured out, something, you or someone  comes along and screws everything up for you. I love life so much that I am thankful for every opportunity or chance I get at it. This statement would have proven otherwise a few months ago, when I hit the lowest of the low. I felt so alone and angry and I had honestly thought that God had forsaken me, for anyone to go astray like I did, its only logical that they would think that they're forsaken. I am glad and thankful to the mighty creator though, for making me realise that this was a test (even though, a huge part of me does not believe this premise's entirety).

We spend too much time focusing on the trivialities of this world, that we forget sometimes, to take time and recognise what surrounds us. I look at the sky, the sea, the earth landscape and think of how fortunate and unfortunate I am. I wanna be the greatest that ever lived, I want to be a tour de force, when I walk past, I want trees to bow down to me and statues erected in my honour. (laughs, of course this all in my head). With this second official post, I want to thank and mention the people that are in my life at moment, people that push, inspire and keep me grounded. I want to say to all of you that you all are very important in my life and thank you for being there for me always and for keeping up with this self-acclaimed Diva. Mommy, for always scolding me for no reason (lol), Father, for helping mommy design me, Masiviwe (Half-brother), for all those endless fights we had when we were growing up, the love, the looking out for one another, for your heart and welcoming personality, Masande (Little brother), even though we found out at a much later stage that we share one link, I love you like you're my own child, thank you always making me laugh even when I'm mad at you, my love for you goes beyond what I can say, Thina (Cousin) You've always been the light of my life, I knew that the moment you were born, through to babysitting you (got paid  for it in monetary terms though) but that should not discourage you or make you doubt my love for you, Gran for always trying to stuff me with carbs coz you thought that a definition of a proper man was a plus-size model, I have since forgiven you for not fully comprehending the concept  fabuleux (laughs) I love you with all my heart though. To all my other aunts and cousins, not mentioned here, you and I know ... and I love you.

To Amanda  (BFH and BFF), for being a sister, friend, mentor and inspiration, we have had our share of what this life thang is, but we've always for some reason managed to come out of any situation triumphant and lethally fierce. I love you, Puli, (BFHE and BFF), for being a wonderful sister, mother, friend, voice of reason, no-nonsense biatch and for always making me happy with your silly dancing. I could never trade the memories I share with you for anything in the world. I learned a lot and thank you and I love you. Nella one word to describe you living angel you may not know this by you mean a whole lot more than I am making it out to be, thank you for all the times, sad, happy, funny, awkward. u are a star, Busi for being yourself and all your other elements, I love you and its the kind of addictive love, Nezi for a true and genuine friendship and love, Aviwe, Siya and Landile you guys know how much I love you and am thankful to you for being in my life, Lwando, Vivi, Lazola I love you guys (Gosh feels like I am doing a thank you note- laughs) Sima, Wandile, Pam, Thoz, Thobs, Litha, Tasha, Nicole, Shannon, Nina, Phila, Zikhona, Noxy, Mampho, Darren, MaBony, Thulan, Zusange, Simnikiwe, Msa, Mickey, Mnoneleli, Bonani, Bhuti and all those that I have not mentioned (due to space) I love you.

To Wendy Tiba, you are the most loved, cherished, thank you for being in my life and teaching me all the wonderful things that you did, thank you for guiding me through fabulousity. I love you forever.

PS: I am not dying, but just thought that it would be nice to mention people that I don't tell everyday that I love. Here's an extract from the Beautiful Disaster by K. Clarkson:

                                            I'm longing for love and the logical
                                               But he's only happy hysterical
                                           I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
                                                         Waited so long
                                                             So long ...
                                                                 <3